Friday is here! With just two hours to midnight, I’m already having one of those Rick Sanchez moments where he’s beyond drunk and had already armed a neutrino bomb that will wipe out the planet. Luckily, I don’t have a trigger, just a laptop screen with some few spills of averagely-priced liquor. The hype today got me wondering about two kind of people that most guys know all too well – the girlfriend and the side-chick. If you’ve never had either of them, I’d suggest you stop reading this right now as there are tons of spoilers beyond here.
Who Are They?
As always, I’m going to pick it up from the academic angle by looking at the dictionary definitions. Merriam-Webster says there are two definitions of a girlfriend:
- A female friend (obviously)
- A frequent or regular female companion in a romantic or sexual relationship (BINGO!)
That accurately covers it. The words romantic and sexual really brought out the meaning. In Nairobi or Kenya in general, once the word girlfriend is mentioned, you instantly know that some sexual relationship of some sort is involved.
A side chick, on the other hand, is a female that is neither a wife or a girlfriend to a guy but still has relations with the guy. These relations are mostly sexual in nature as you might have guessed. While different people have different reasons for having both girlfriends and side chicks in their lives, a female friend of mine recently asked me “What’s the point of having a side chick?”. I told her that it mostly depends on the guy, but in most cases, it might be about the sex. She then went on further to ask, “What’s the point of having a girlfriend if she doesn’t satisfy your sexual needs?”
That question threw me off balance. I know that most of my male brothers would understand, but explaining that to a female is a bit trickier. However, today I’m actually going to condense everything I have heard about the two and create the ultimate picture for all the girls out there.
Rank in Terms of Fun
The Girlfriend: 6.8/10
Ouch! That low? No, that’s actually very high. The kind of fun that girlfriends give is rather different from the kind that side chicks offer. With a girlfriend, you get that sense of belonging and true companionship. However, when you start accounting for those days where she’s a different human species, the fun starts to drop. Of course, you are going to be the sole sponsor of the fun too.
The Side Chick: 7.7/10
Unfair right? Wrong! Most guys are comfortable beside their side chicks, and they can be totally honest about things that they would naturally not tell their girlfriends. The best part is that side chicks to not necessarily hold a grudge for what you say. They know that it’s all about the fun and nothing else. However, things can start to get murky when they start falling in love.
Rank in Terms of Sexual Pleasure
The Girlfriend: 6/10
Another ouch! During the start of the relationship, the sex is always great, no denying. After some months, you start getting some very strange excuses when trying to initiate sex. I know of two friends who have been told that they won’t be getting some loving because they failed to wash the dishes! Even after washing the dishes…They would still be told “Nimechoka. Tujaribu kesho” (I am tired. Let’s try tomorrow).
The Side Chick: 8.5/10
It’s what they do best. In fact, most of the times, you are not left with the task of initiating the sex! They know exactly what you need and how you need it. A weekend with her and you will be walking out in the streets the next day feeling like you’ve been playing rugby the whole weekend. So, what makes them this sexually active? To be honest, I wouldn’t know. I only hope that our very own Northern She-wolf would answer this sometime.
Rank in Terms of Stubbornness
The Girlfriend: 8/10
No offence, but according to the people I asked, the average hit 8 out of 10. Most of the reasons were outrageous too. I wouldn’t know if it’s the hormones or just a time of the month where things become crazy.
The Side Chick: 3/10 or 6/10
The reason why there are two ratings is because the side chick can either be aware of your girlfriend or not. If she is aware of your girlfriend, she is less likely to be a problem than if she does not know. Without knowing that you have a girlfriend, she is likely to start wooing you for something more than a strictly sexual relationship.
Rank in Terms of Loyalty
The Girlfriend: 7.5/10
Coming to this rating was difficult because there are guys who have been cheated on by their girlfriends. However, a higher loyalty rank would also mean that in case anything happens, you will have the same magnitude of pain. I’ve seen friends who were inches away from marrying their girlfriends only to realise that they were not as loyal as they thought they were.
The Side Chick: 5/10
She really doesn’t owe you anything if you think about it. Depending on the kind of relationship you have, she might even share some experiences she had with other guys because she understands that feelings ought to be kept outside the door.
Who Is Better?
Tough question, but that will depend entirely on you. If you’re looking to settle, it’s better to accept and simply get a girlfriend who can later on be your wife. However, if you feel more adventurous, you could try the side chick. One thing to remember is that you cannot have a side chick without having a girlfriend. If you think you do, we’ll now be talking of f**ck mates or friends with benefits who are more or less similar to side chicks. At Twilight Party, you can literally find a companion of any kind. If you’re looking for a one-time fling or a long term relationship, you can rest assured that we will have the perfect person for you. Remember to stay safe though.