How to Chat With Kenyan Girls on Social Media

Girl's hand holding an iPhone
Hundreds of messages on our smartphones everyday!

I am literally lost for words. Today has been such a long day of text messages, nude pics, and “I love you’s”. After installing Badoo and Tinder at 9AM in the morning, I think it would be best for me to delete the apps altogether. The online dating scene in Kenya has really changed from the way I remember it back in the days.

My Interesting (But Useless) Backstory

As a bisexual and down to earth girl, I have always had my reservations for guys. I find it much easier to converse with girls because they’re more genuine. Nonetheless, I have a strong feeling that my inner lesbian just grew a little bigger after today. Of the 100 or so messages that endlessly hit my inbox, I mostly responded to the ones sent by girls. I had to do it under the supervision of my girlfriend too! She didn’t like the idea that I was on an online dating site in the first place. The guys, on the other hand, were a bit different, and I would be an evil prick if I didn’t point out where they were going wrong.

Ditch The Pick-Up Lines

We get hit on A LOT! The last thing we need is another cheesy pick-up line. This includes pre-formatted messages which you send out to all the girls with the hope that your net will catch something. In a way, we have this innate skill to know who is being real and who is not. On the other hand, if you go simple and just say “Hi” or “Nice to meet you”, you’ll also be increasing your chances of being ignored. Why is that? Because there are 10 other men doing the exact same thing! Be more creative with your openers.

Limit Your Compliments

I’ll admit it. Being called beautiful, pretty, and sexy more than 20 times a day is a great thing. After some time though, it gets to a point where it has no impact. Thinking of saying “Girl you look so beautiful”? Don’t! Make things a little interesting, funny and lightly provocative. A response like “You're cute. Too bad you're one of those shy girls” is a perfect example. You shouldn’t take things a notch higher when negging because you might meet a girl who’s sensitive about her insecurities.

Don’t Act Desperate


To all foreigners and curious Nairobi men, Kenyan girls know exactly what you want the moment you say “Hi”. This means that the result of your interaction will depend on how much you move us. Sending multiple messages before getting a reply is a clear sign you’re getting impatient and desperate. Take it from me today. If you get “blue-ticked” or get no replies, move on. You won’t benefit by complaining about being “blue-ticked”.

“Bare Chest Photos” Have Little to No Impact

Who wouldn’t want to be a hunk? Ladies would worship at a hunk’s feet! Not in Kenya, and certainly not in Nairobi. Succeeding in online dating would mostly depend on how fast you can make an impact. Decent photos will do just fine. Standing by a borrowed Range Rover or dangling car keys may only attract wannabe slay queens.

Act Fast and Back Away

Since there are many guys who want to “take us out”, playing it too cool might also make us lose interest. As I view it, online dating simply offers a platform where we can connect. The real dating happens beyond Facebook and Tinder. So, after you’re lucky enough to get a number from a girl, you can now consider yourself “safer” than the guy who is still asking for nudes.

All in all, it would be a good thing if you treat Kenyan girls like any other person you meet on the streets. Talk to us normally and let’s have a good laugh together. Try too much, and we might just classify you in the “definitely not” list. But as I am only a soft-spoken bisexual, I honestly wouldn’t know what other girls feel about this. If you’re a Kenyan girl based in Nairobi and might have some few pointers, please reach out. I would love to hear from you.

Until next time…😘